1. Malice- 4. Envy- 5. Evil Speaking- saying things that are hurtful to others etc
I want to hone in on those 3 1x1 and see how to deal with each area.
We start with dealing with anger.
Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it's very questionable whether you really love righteousness.
Dr. David Seamands.
RADNOR, Pa. - December 5, 2011 (WPVI) -- Police arrested a man for a road rage incident and say his young child was witness to it all. Radnor Police Chief William Colarulo says it was around 8:00 p.m. when an Audi driven by Robert Maxwell turned onto Lancaster Avenue. In doing so, police say Maxwell cut off a woman that was driving along the road. Colarulo says the female driver beeped her horn. Maxwell stopped his Audi, got out of the car, and began kicking the woman's vehicle and cursing.
The woman exited her car in an attempt to read Maxwell's license plate.Maxwell then assaulted the woman and proceeded to drag her through the street and into nearby hedges, Colarulo said. He kicked the woman until other passersby came to her assistance. Maxwell then got back into his car and sped off at a high rate speed nearly running the woman over.
Police say less than a mile up the road, Maxwell ended up getting into an accident.There he was arrested for DUI, aggravated assault, and related charges. Police say Maxwell's 10-year old son was in the backseat of his father's car the entire time. (Copyright ©2012 WPVI-TV/DT. All Rights Reserved.)
Now, we wouldn’t do anything like that. But have you ever lost your temper? Do you ever do things you wish you hadn’t done, or say things you wish you had never said?
Well, the Bible has something to say about overcoming anger. Proverbs 19:11 says, "The discretion of a man delays his anger; and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.."
Now there is the secret, isn’t it? If someone offends you, & if you are a man of wisdom (God’s wisdom) then you can overlook it, & not allow the situation to become a major event that overwhelms you.There are several types of anger in the scriptures.. One is Wrath. Explosive sinful anger. There is stubborn anger. Bottled up and stuffed down Finally, there is proper anger. That anger is to be channeled.
I. Sinful ANGER IS TO BE CONTROLLED
A. First of all there is explosive anger, & the Bible says that is to be controlled.
1. Proverbs 14:17a says, " He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: ..." We already knew that because we’ve experienced that in our own lives. We may blame our quick temper on our red hair. Or we may blame it on our heritage. After all, we’re Irish or something like that. We may even be proud of it.
But the bottom line is, if we have a short fuse, we’re going to do a lot of foolish things. When we lose our temper we’ll say things we know we shouldn’t have said, & do things that we’re going to be sorry for later on.
2. Next, Proverbs 15:18 says, "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but [he that is] slow to anger appeaseth strife.." That simply means that if you have a short fuse, if you’re always losing your temper, if you’re walking around with a chip on your shoulder, if you’re just looking for somebody to say something that will irritate you, then you’re going to leave a trail of hurt feelings & unhappiness behind you.
ILL. Will Rogers said, "Whenever you fly into a rage, you seldom make a safe landing." And he is right.
ILL. Chuck Swindoll said, "I got so angry that I gave him a piece of my mind. And it was a piece that I couldn’t afford to lose."
As The writer of Proverbs said, "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: "
3. Proverbs 18:13 says, " He that answereth a matter before he heareth [it], it [is] folly and shame unto him.." Anyone else ever guilty of jumping to conclusions. We hear just a little bit of what is said, & instantly jump to a conclusion, & oftentimes it is the wrong conclusion. Solomon says that it is to our folly & our shame.
4. Proverbs 19:19 says, " A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver [him], yet thou must do it again.." We’re being told that almost every day. Doctors tell us that losing our temper consistently brings about high blood pressure, dryness of mouth, & a fast-beating heart. It could even bring pre-mature death.
A hot temper could also mean loss of family & friends. The penalties of losing our temper are many.
So the Bible says, "If you have a quick temper, then you need to control it." But how can we do that?
ILL. You say, "Why, I just can’t control my temper. It gets away from me." But you can. Have you ever found yourself engaged in a heated discussion Then the telephone rings & you say, "Hello." Sure, you can control your temper. Or ever been having a fight and you see your child fall out of a tree..... you can control it.
So we need to recognize that we have a problem with temper. As long as we deny it, as long as we blame it on heritage or short-fuse or whatever we choose to blame it on, we’ll never improve.
Then we must confess our problem to God & ask for His help. "Lord, I’m beginning to lose my temper, & I’ve done it many times before. Please help me see what is causing it to happen, & then help me to overcome it." The Bible teaches that when the Holy Spirit guides our life, that one fruit of the spirit is self?control. And if you have a sudden temper, you need to control it. (Personal ill.)
Not all anger is sinful, But some anger is. So let me give you some tests this morning to help you determine whether your anger is sinful or not.
A. In Matthew 5:21-22 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment:, ."
Now that passage tells us some things about anger that should help us realize when our anger is sinful & when it is not.
Notice first of all that it says, "Anyone who is angry with his brother." Now if you’re a brother or sister to someone it indicates that you are a member of the same family, whether a domestic family or the family of God.
If we’re brothers & sisters, we ought to be lifting each other up, supporting & helping each other. We should not spend our time being angry at one another.
The King James Version speaks about being angry at your brother "without a cause." If we are angry & don’t have a legitimate reason for being angry, then this tells us that our anger is sinful.
Then if you’re angry at your brother, that indicates that you are focusing your anger on a person. We should never focus our anger on attacking people, but rather on the attacking the problem with a view to a solution.
D. Now in Romans 12:19 Paul says, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.."
So the next test of our anger is this: Is it anger that seeks revenge? The Bible teaches that God is the one who has the right of vengeance. Not us. "Vengeance is mine," says the Lord. . But rather, turn that over to God, anger that seeks revenge, is very sinful anger. Maybe it is also one you LIKE to hang onto.
A lot of people love being angry. They’ve been angry for years. Inside of them there is a boiling mass of anger. if anger is cherished, it most certainly is sinful anger. with an unforgiving spirit. And the secret to getting rid of anger is to be able to forgive. But if you can’t forgive, if you can’t release it, then it is a sinful response to anger.
SUM. So how to tell whether or not our anger is sinful anger.
1. Is it anger directed towards attacking a person and not toward the problem?
2. Is it anger without a justifiable cause?
3. Is it anger that seeks vengeance?
4. Is it anger that has an unforgiving spirit?
If any of the answers to those questions is "yes," then our anger is a sinful anger. And the Bible says that it is to be condemned. ,and we need to repent, to turn away from it, & allow God to forgive us of it so that we can become forgiving people, too.
Sinful anger is stubborn anger. It is an anger that just broods, day after day after day.
A. One of the classic passages that deals with anger begins in Ephesians 4:26. The KJV says, "Be ye angry, & sin not. Let not the sun go down on your wrath." And the next verse says, "And do not give the devil a foothold."
ILL. One day you go home & you’re angry. You’re carrying a chip on your shoulder, just waiting for someone to knock it off.
Then your wife says something you don’t particularly appreciate, & soon heated words are being exchanged. It really doesn’t amount to much, but you’re determined to get your way, & she is determined to get her way. So the argument continues.
The sun goes down & nighttime comes. Then in bed she faces that way & you face this way, & you both make very sure that you don’t touch each other.
Do you realize what has happened? The Bible says that you have opened the door, & said, "Mr. Devil, come right on in. We’ll make you welcome here."
Then in vs. 31, Paul mentions what happens when Satan begins to do his dirty work. The first result is "bitterness." You begin to think about all the bad things people do & say to you, all the insults, all of the inconsiderate things that go on.
Then Paul says, "After bitterness comes rage & anger." "Rage" is bitterness boiling & bubbling inside of you. And "anger" is rage being expressed. It is no longer just inside you. Now you begin to kick the cat, & hit the wall. Now you begin to say all kinds of things, until finally it becomes "brawling," which means "shouting loudly," & "slander" or "insults."
"Look at this house. It’s a pig sty. I come home every day & these kids are dirty. You don’t know how to take care of them. What makes you think you’re a homemaker?" And on & on it goes, back & forth.
And the end result of it all, Paul says, is "malice." And "malice" means that you really desire to harm. That’s why we’re always reading about someone shooting his wife & turning the gun on himself. Because the ultimate end of stubborn anger is malice.
Paul said, "Here is the way to get rid of stubborn anger. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath." Vs. 32 says, "Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
So first of all, there is sinful anger. And it must be controlled.
, condemned. And it must be conquered.
But there is a proper anger: IV. Proper ANGER Is the God given Strength to deal wit a problem.
Proper anger. must be channeled in the right direction for God. Remember, Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry. . ." It is okay to be angry, but do not sin.
Don’t let the sun go down on your WRATH... you may not not solve the issue but deal with the wrath, “Look, we aren’t going to solve this tonight, but I can ask you to forgive my manner...or some such. (Not much good form arguing til 3 AM)
So the sinful response to Anger is either BLOW UP, or Clam up., Neither are helpful or healthy.
To properly deal with anger, we must attack PROBLEMS not PEOPLE. How?
Pro 15:1 ¶ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
90% of the friction of daily life is caused by the wrong tone of voice.
Leadership, Vol. 1, Number 4, p. 23.
Do not let the decibels rise. (not gritted teeth etc.)
Luk 6:41 -42 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.
Not that you are the one who is wrong and he is right... but what response of yours has fueled the decibels to get louder? What is YOUR part?
This is part of the process to relearn the habits of anger which have grown in us.
. And if you are wrestling with anger, God promises to give you victory, if you’ll listen to and follow the dictates of the Bible..
So be angry, but don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. Don’t allow the devil to have a foothold in your life. But use that anger properly so it can begin to accomplish victories for Jesus.
Of the 7 deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking Transformed by Thorns, p. 117.
Now you think about that...Amen.
